Can I go to bed yet?

Today was one of those days. Just keepin’ it real.

Battles and tears and accidental owies and stomping up stairs and other activities began before church and carried well through Sacrament Meeting. Haylie has perfected her high pitched shriek and refuses to sit peacefully on laps for 3 hours (well, what nearly-16-month-old baby DOES???). She has also perfected her “arched-back slide down mommy’s legs” move which is always a favorite and loves to run around Sunday School and Relief Society with me chasing ungracefully and interrupting-ly behind her. And nothing in our bag even remotely entertains her. Brandon was super grumpy and had a tough time and preferred to writhe on the the floor at certain moments. Sometimes I wonder if his ears are functioning because he doesn’t seem to hear what we say. Annie was probably the easiest child at church today but she was just making up for her horrendous cry-whine fest on our hike up to Cecret Lake yesterday. I think she cried/whined for one hour straight, at least. Her dirty face with muddy tear streaks was quite the sight to see. Only at the end did she finally say that her foot hurt so we took off her shoe to find a blister. Then we felt bad. But our nerves were shot. It was a pretty hike though. I shall post pictures of it one day.

But anyway, today was one of those days, where we wonder a little teeny tiny bit why we even try to go to church because it’s hard to even get to listen to any talks or lessons or feel the Spirit, we’re too busy wrangling kids or using our “angry whisper voice” because we are certain that our family is the naughtiest and least-reverent family that ever was created. And feel guilty a little bit because we aren’t supposed to come to church angry and frustrated, right??? Has anyone ever felt this way?? And then I start thinking of other ways I fall short and the negative thoughts start creeping in–I stink at motherhood, I have no friends, my house is a disaster, I can’t finish projects, I’m a beached whale, I smell bad. Silly things like that!! That needs to stop!!! I just feel like sometimes Satan really works hard on us mothers. He recognizes how important our role is in the eternal perspective. So I’m really trying to not let those negative thoughts push out the happy thoughts!! And so….. we keep on going. We go to church every week because we know that Heavenly Father recognizes that we are TRYING and that has to count for something!!! And we have strong testimonies and we want our children to learn more about Christ and the gospel and develop testimonies of their own. And we love the Lord. And we love our children. And even though we have rotton days we still want our family to be eternal! So we are trying. And usually it’s not quite so horrible–today was just one of those days. I will just remember that we’re not the only ones who has days like these and of course we’ll survive!

I don’t like to complain too much on here. There were good moments today too. We sang Primary songs before church and it was adorable. We snuggled on the couch together. Annie told me I was pretty. We ate dinner as a family and talked with one another and they said dinner was yummy. And apologies were given and accepted from earlier events mentioned in this very blog post. Popsicles for dessert. A little Extreme Makeover: Home Edition episode about a sweet little boy with Leukemia to make you really realize how good and blessed your life is, even on the tough days. I love my family completely, even when the kids drive me nearly insane!!!

So I just had a chocolate chip cookie and snuggled Haylie one last time and now the kids are all asleep (Jaden is too–I’m telling you, it was an exhausting day!) and I’m feeling that things are okay. Here’s to hoping next Sunday is a better one for this little family.

This long ramble is over! I’ll give you a cookie too for making it this far!!

Now, I think I’m going to bed!!