As I’m typing this, Brandon is STILL awake for some odd reason. What is the deal??!?!?
I just got back from a trip to one of my favorite stores, good ol’ Target. There is nothing more delightful than going there 30 minutes before closing (because I forgot they close at 10 pm) and rushing like a madwoman to get everything. And Target, to me, is not one of those stores you want to rush through. Right?? So I’m sure I missed some great stuff. I got some big Rubbermaid-type containers for organizing, the kind that take up your whole cart. So in my rushiness (is that a word?) I also had to find a way to balance the rest of my purchases (I love that word!) inside and shoved around the Rubbermaids.
I think that I was one of the last people to check out. My Yumsters yogurt decided to spew all over the cashier (or as she put it, the yogurt peed on her). Why do I *ALWAYS* choose the faulty, broken stuff?? The clothes without tags, the broken eggs, the exploding yogurt. Never fails. At least I wasn’t buying a truckload of furniture at 10:00 pm like these other people were doing. Seriously.
>>>>>>WHY is Brandon still awake?!?
Then on the way out to my car a bunch of stuff slid out from the bottom of the cart. WHY, oh shopping cart designers, is the bottom slightly slanted?!?!? I finally make it to my car and start unloading my stuff, when this lame Target employee came out and just STOOD THERE waiting for me to empty the cart. Just stood and watched while I heaved the milks and the 50 gallons of TIDE and the huge Rubbermaid containers. What a gentleman. (Insert sarcasm here.)
I don’t like going grocery shopping. Especially at 10:00 at night. At least I didn’t run into anybody I know, looking haggard and sweating as I sprinted through the store with my overflowing cart.
Kind of pointless to blog about, but I feel better for venting about it for some strange reason.
So, on that positive and profound note, I decided to post something that made my roommates and I laugh for hours on end, many years ago. Funny, but a bit twisted. 
Julie and Em, this is dedicated to you.
Julie and Em, this is dedicated to you.
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Children’s books you will never see:
You Were an Accident
Strangers Have the Best Candy
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens CAN Fly!
Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Amer-Hey! Let’s Go Ride Our Bikes!
All Dogs Go to Hell
The Kid’s Guide to Hitchhiking
You are Different and That’s Bad
POP! Goes the Hampster…and Other Great Microwave Games
Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets
The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, the Vice Squad
Babar Meets the Taxidermist
Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
Things Rich Kids Have That You Never Will
The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead
How to Become the Dominant Military Power in Your Elementary School
Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
When Mommy and Daddy Don’t Know the Answer, They Say God Did It
Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Strangers Have the Best Candy
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens CAN Fly!
Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Amer-Hey! Let’s Go Ride Our Bikes!
All Dogs Go to Hell
The Kid’s Guide to Hitchhiking
You are Different and That’s Bad
POP! Goes the Hampster…and Other Great Microwave Games
Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets
The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, the Vice Squad
Babar Meets the Taxidermist
Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
Things Rich Kids Have That You Never Will
The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead
How to Become the Dominant Military Power in Your Elementary School
Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
When Mommy and Daddy Don’t Know the Answer, They Say God Did It
Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Alrighty, have a lovely night!
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
For some reason I am sitting at my computer at midnight just dinking around because I don’t feel like going to bed even though I am so tired. This tiredness made me really appreciate this entry in the way it was meant to be appreciated
Thanks for the Monday Midnight Laugh.
ps..why do they make the word verification things totally impossible to read. I just got dissed twice while trying to post this
ROTFLMBO….
Isn’t Target grand?! I LOVE it…only thing I would change is the carts…you can’t put stuff on the bottom.
Oh my gosh. LOL I can just see it. All of it, happening to me. LOL Glad you made it home! Did he ever go to sleep?
He FINALLY went to sleep after 11pm! I don’t know what the problem was!! He usually goes to bed at 8:30 pm….
LOL on the book list!
In about one year, my kids will be on the right sleep schedule. I am on page 10 of 500 of how to give your child a healthly sleep routine! Contact me then. As for the list of books…if Eric ever publishes a book (as he wishes he will) I will have him choose one of those titles. What a hoot. Oh…and what a NERD you are!
TARGET!!! I am so excited, we will finally be getting one here in November! Yee-Haw! Maybe I can make one of those late night runs. My shopping trips usually take place at 7:00am…2 hours after the kids have woken up and I feel the need to get out of the house. Nice thing is, nobody else is awake and we have the store to ourselves. So when Connor throws a fit, nobody is there to watch.
TARGET ROCKS!!!! I could spend HOURS and alot of money there!!!
So that list of books was awesome – thanks for the laugh!!!
So funny! Your Target commentary made me laugh. Ha ha! I love to buy those Rubbermaid storage totes, but I always feel compelled to buy them when the kids are with me. Then I have 3 kids to pack around the store and a cart packed with totes. Gotta love it!
Love your target moments! I think maybe you could write a poem about it. I love the children book titles. Thanks for the dedication…so many funny memories, such as… I was laughing the other day when I was buying milk and the milk’s name was Jason! I thought of you!
I can’t believe Brandon stayed up that late. I hope for your sake that he slept in a litte!
You ALWAYS manage to make me laugh when you’re describing crazy moments. And who doesnt’ love Target? You’ve just got such a way with words. The book list is a great trip down memory lane- thanks!
Hi Brooke! Nice to “meet” you-I’m Katie’s cousin, Aubri.
Your blog is amazingly cute, I love all the pictures and it sounds like you have some pretty great stories too with your kids! Love the Target one, hehehe…way tooo familiar!
Aubri